what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
