dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize