I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
