You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
