Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
