its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
