i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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