He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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