the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So much rum. So many feels.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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