she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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