Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
