Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
