I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
