and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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