I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
