i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
