Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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