how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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