: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
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