he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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