Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
