last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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