The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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