I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
