just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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