I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
