We won't sleep together?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
