ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
