I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
