Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
