Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
