He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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