I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
