Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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