Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I look better un-naked...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize