barbara walters just said penis...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
