i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
