You're my little dorito
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
