so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
