I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
