I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
