Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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