People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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