i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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