i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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