Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
