i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
