Say something about gay babies.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
