But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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