I'm going to jail i love you
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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