too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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