What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
