So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
