you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
