u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
