I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
