ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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