i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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