his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
