so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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